Exploring the Unexpected Treasures of Parenting Teens
Laurie Moser . Published March 11, 2024
Bow Valley Provincial Campground, AB
I often talk about the challenges of raising teens, especially teens dealing with mental health challenges. So, today, I want to mix it up a bit and talk about the amazing aspects of raising ALL teens.
I often hear on podcasts and interviews, people being asked what they regret. I started thinking about my life, in particular, my parenting. Of course there're things that I would have done differently. But here's where the self-compassion comes in that we must have for ourselves. At the time, I did the best I could with what I knew. It's because of the struggles and hard times that I went through with my daughter that has mental health challenges, that have made me the parent I'm right now.
What type of parent am I now?
One who stills makes mistakes ALL the time but is consistently learning new parenting tips, tools and strategies. I'm getting resources from other parents, experts and people that know more than me or can show me a different way of doing something that changes my perspective and understanding as a parent. We're meant to share and learn from each other. There're so many valuable resources and knowledge from others to help us out, we just need to be open to ask and learn.
What do I love about teens? 💗
I love watching my kids become independent and learning that they're capable of doing anything that they decide and put the work into. My 2 oldest girls will be living in Europe next year, going to school there. I'm in awe of their courage and independence to do this! I was still living in my Grandma's basement at that age!
Just this weekend, my son shared an assignment with me that he had to do in math, that was way beyond my comprehension. It's so cool when your kids know more than you do on a particular subject and can teach you! My son has helped me out with so many tech issues. Another thing that teens do well!
Doing hard stuff. We went on a family hike this weekend. We didn't realize until we got there, how much snow there was. We got to be the first to walk on this deep path of snow that was up to our knees in some places. Wow, trudging through deep snow is an epic cardio workout. Even though, there might have been some initial complaining, they were fully capable of doing this hike and they did it.
I think one of the best parts of having teens is the connection that can happen. When you do have a deep, heartfelt and impactful conversation with your teen, it's the best. I love it when my kids get me to change my perspective and understanding based on something new I've learned from them.
It's easy to write about practicing active listening with your teen, remaining calm by taking a few deep breaths before you say something that you might regret, and not trying to "fix or solve," all their problems for them. But raising teens in your daily life, you're put to the test many times a day. They provide the "perfect," opportunity for continuous growth, self awareness and learning. Having teens has made me do the "hard work," on myself. And that's something I hope to be doing forever.
I've also come to realize that when I mess up, which occurs often, I can do the repair work. The repair work is one of the most important aspects of parenting because you're showing your teen that we all mess up, we can take responsibility for it, learn from it and do better next time.
🌟Remember, there's no such thing as a perfect parent. We're all learning and trying to do our best. Let's support and help each other along the way, it makes the journey better, more manageable and enjoyable! Even though the teen years can be challenging, frustrating and turn all our hair grey, they can also be rewarding and yes, fun!
LAURIE MOSER
Laurie Moser is an advocate for moms’ mental health. Supporting moms who have teens with mental health challenges using self-care tools & group support. Laurie has been featured by Focus on the Family, Real Biz Moms, Tracking Happiness and a guest on 5 Minutes for Me App, Voice of Women (VOW), and I Never Knew (INK).
