5 Surprising Ways For Parents to Connect With Your Teenager

Laurie Moser . Published May 22, 2023

Do you ever wish that you could wave a magic wand and instantly have awesome communication and connection with your difficult teenager?

While I can’t promise you blissful communication from now on, I can help you get better. The following ways to connect with your teenager can have a life-changing impact on your relationship.

Let’s get started changing your relationship.

1. Get your teenager to pick the activity

Your teenager loves to play video games and you do not. Your mission should you choose to accept and yes you do, is do the activity that your teen picks. Unless it's something you physically can’t do or some other grand reason, try it.

Your teen will be so impressed that you have agreed to let them pick the activity. By spending 30 minutes playing a video game that they love, you might learn more about what’s going on in their lives. And this is more effective than spending time trying to pry a conversation out of their mouths.

Worth trying, yes!

2. Stop giving your amazing advice

You have such great advice and wisdom that you want to pass on to your teenager. There are so many experiences and years of knowledge you have acquired. You are a wise old owl, teaching the young the ways of the world.

Problem is, most of the time your teenager does not want your brilliant advice. They want you to just listen to them. I know it’s excruciating at times to just listen and not talk but you must. Like you, they just want to feel heard, valued and seen.

You are giving them a beautiful gift of your genuine caring, when you just listen. You are building trust when you are present with them.

3. Volunteer together

Pick an activity or cause that you care about and ask your teen to join you. Better yet, ask your teen what cause they care about and find one together.

You will find that volunteering is a great way to bond. By volunteering you will be kept busy and engaged. When you volunteer, you are both working together for a greater cause helping others. This gives you a nice dopamine hit. Feels good for the brain and body to serve others. Both you and your teen will be on a high after volunteering.

Don’t worry about what to volunteer for. I have a few examples for you.

Animal shelter
Ronald McDonald House
Homeless shelter
School
Church
Community centre
Sports team

Any interest that your teen has, you can find some way to volunteer. Pick one.

4. Talk in the car

You probably spend a lot of time in the car with your teen. This can be a brilliant opportunity to talk, if it’s just you and your teen.

Just think about it, your teen is trapped in the car with you. You have a captivated audience. Don’t force the conversation or bombard with questions.

You could use open-ended questions. For example: what was something interesting that happened today? Who is the funny person in your class and why? Tell me how you feel about that issue going on with your friend?

You never know where these questions can lead. Open-ended questions are a lot more effective than a yes or no type question. For example: how was school today? Did you learn anything new today? You already know the answer to those questions.

5. Say sorry

Your teenager can be rude, insensitive, disrespectful and hurtful.

Newsflash, so can you. You said something in anger or reacted in a way that you did not want to. Time to be the role model and acknowledge it.

Say sorry. That one word holds so much meaning and impact. By saying sorry, you show your teen that you also make mistakes. And you can accept responsibility and own up to your mistakes.

You are setting a stellar example for how to recognize, accept and apologize when you mess up. Because, we all make mistakes and mess up.

This small action shows your teen that you are open to learning, growing and doing better.

Start with one way to connect with your teenager

You will find communication and connection starts to strengthen when your teen can trust you to listen, be there and own up to your mistakes.

Parenting teenagers is difficult, particularly when your teen snubs you.

So next time your teenager gives you the cold shoulder, try one of the suggestions above.

You’ll find what ways work for you and your teen. It gets easier to build on your relationship once you get started. Have fun sharing experiences and creating memories with your teen.

You can do this.

What one will you try first?