Holiday Connection Strategies for Moms with Teens Facing Mental Health Challenges

Laurie Moser . Published November 20, 2023

Source: unsplash

When I think back to the holidays and when I was young, Christmas was magical! I was so excited for Christmas Eve to come, that I would start counting down the number of sleeps left, starting December 1st! And then there was the time when my four kids were all young and it was another magical time. Sure, there was stressful moments but overall it was so fun with little kids that believed in all the magic and were happy with any new toy that they got.

Fast forward to having preteens and teens, the holiday season is very different now. For awhile, I started to dread the Christmas season: all the presents to buy, the events to attend, so much stuff to do within such a short time frame. It was awful to feel this way about a season that used to bring me so much joy, I didn’t want to become that cranky person as I got older. So, the last few years, I’ve really tried to get that fun, joy, connection and energy back. This year, I think I finally realized, it’s not going to be the same energy or feeling as when I was young or my kids were young but that doesn’t mean it still can’t be great. It’s just different now.

How can we still make the holiday season about joy, love, family and connection? 🎄💖

For moms navigating the unique challenges of raising teenagers grappling with mental health issues, the holiday season can be a bittersweet mix of joy and stress. In the middle of twinkling lights, buying presents, extra food around all the time, attending events and festive decorations, the struggles you and your teens face may intensify. In this demanding season, it's crucial to carve out moments of genuine connection. I know that you can!

Here are six ways to bring more joy and connection to your holiday season, tailored specifically for moms with teens facing mental health challenges:

1. Create a Sanctuary of Comfort:

Acknowledge the heightened stress and exhaustion that the holiday season can bring for both you and your teen. Designate a cozy space within your home as a sanctuary—free from the pressures of the season. Whether it's a corner with soft blankets and pillows, the kitchen with delicious aromas or the main family room, create a retreat where open conversations and shared moments can unfold organically. A welcoming space invites everyone to gather.

2. Craft Relaxing & Calming Traditions:

Tailor your holiday traditions to accommodate the unique needs of your teen and family now, things change and that’s ok. We can find new activities and traditions to do. Engage in activities that provide a sense of comfort and joy. It could be as simple as watching favourite movies together, baking together, going to look at lights with your teen or enjoying a cup of hot chocolate by the fireplace. The focus here is on creating traditions that offer relaxing and calming benefits and strengthen your connection.

3. Extend Empathy Beyond Your Home:

Recognize that the holiday season may bring a sense of isolation for both you and your teen. Extend empathy beyond your home by reaching out to support groups or online communities where other moms facing similar challenges gather. Sharing experiences and coping strategies can provide a profound sense of connection and reassurance. When we feel heard and understood by others going through a similar journey or experiences, we feel a bond and connection. This is not about complaining, it’s about being honest, vulnerable and genuine about how you’re feeling. You don’t have to pretend that you don’t feel stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted during the holiday season.

4. Mindful Moments of Gratitude:

In the middle of the holiday rush, take mindful moments to express gratitude. Encourage your teen to join you in reflecting on positive aspects of the year. This can be done through a gratitude journal or by simply taking time during meals to express appreciation for small, meaningful moments. For example: asking everyone at the dinner table to say one thing that they’re grateful for. It can be as simple as, “I’m grateful that someone made this meal for me.” Focusing on gratitude collectively reinforces the strength of your bond.

5. Prioritize Presence over Perfection:

Release the pressure of creating a picture-perfect holiday and prioritize the gift of presence. Engage in activities that allow for genuine connection, such as quiet walks, listening to your favourite Christmas songs, enjoying a meal or treat together, heartfelt conversations, or even just sitting together in companionable silence. Embrace the beauty of imperfect moments, and let your presence be the greatest gift you give to your teen and yourself.

6. Volunteer together:

Ask your teen what organization or cause they care about. What do they have an interest in? There are so many ways to volunteer now. The gifts of volunteering come back to you and your teen tenfold. You feel needed, valued and purpose in helping others. You and your teen also get to see how your time and service can benefit others that are in worse or more challenging situations than you are at this time.

In the middle of the holiday whirlwind, these helpful strategies aim to bring joy and connection during this season for moms with teens facing mental health challenges. By creating spaces of comfort, crafting relaxing & calming traditions, extending empathy, practicing gratitude, prioritizing presence and volunteering together, you can build connection and infuse the holiday season with moments of genuine joy.

Remember, in the simplicity of shared moments, you're building a foundation of support and love that transcends the challenges you face. Wishing you a season filled with warmth, connection, joy, love and the gentle embrace of shared moments.

LAURIE MOSER

Laurie Moser is an advocate for moms’ mental health. Supporting moms who have teens with mental health challenges using self-care tools & group support. Laurie has been featured by Focus on the Family, Real Biz Moms, Tracking Happiness and a guest on 5 Minutes for Me App, Voice of Women (VOW) and I Never Knew (INK).