Beyond Candles: Unconventional Mom Self-Care Tips for Teen Mental Health Support
Laurie Moser . Published November 27, 2023
Source: unsplash
What does the term ‘self-care’ mean to you? It’s a fairly overused term these days, and it often brings to mind scented candles, pedicures, spa weekends and the like. In other words, activities we might not have the time or money for, which can lead to guilt or feelings of failure if we’ve not managed to ‘tick them off’. I don’t want self-care to feel like another item on my never ending to do list and I’m sure you don’t want that.
So, what is self-care? You don’t always need a fluffy white robe or a candlelit bath to look after yourself. For some people, self-care might look like making a healthy meal, getting 5 minutes of quiet to themselves or having that difficult conversation. For others it’s getting an early night, or taking emails off your phone. It’s different for everyone and it also will vary for you, depending on what stage of life you’re at.
My self-care routine looks very different now than when I had 4 young kids at home. If you’re struggling with how to support your teen with mental health challenges, you’re self-care routine will look different than your friends. Your self-care practice is about feeding your soul and replenishing your energy. It's also about accepting help when it's offered and extending your hand when others are in need. Real self-care, is a shared journey that involves connecting with others who genuinely care, exchanging support, and breaking free from societal ideals that dictate how we should recharge.
So, how can you, as a mom facing the daily stress and anxiety of supporting a struggling teen, practice meaningful self-care? Let's explore five ways that go beyond the clichéd bubble baths, scented candles, and spa days and into the realm of genuine connection. Just to be clear, I love bubble baths, scented candles and spa days but self-care is about a lot more and YOU might need something else right now.
1. Coffee Dates with a Side of Understanding:
Swap out the spa day for a simple coffee date with a fellow mom who understands the unique challenges you face. Discussing your experiences, sharing triumphs, and lending a supportive ear can be a therapeutic experience. Real self-care involves creating a network of understanding, where you feel heard, validated, and less alone in your journey. My greatest support has come from other moms who have been on a similar journey and experiences. They understand.
2. Virtual Support Groups:
In the digital age, connecting with like-minded moms has never been easier. Joining virtual support groups focused on teen mental health can provide a sense of community and shared experiences. It's a platform to exchange advice, seek guidance, and offer encouragement. Real self-care is about leveraging the power of connection, even if it's through a screen.
3. Walking Therapy Sessions:
Instead of a massage, consider incorporating walking therapy into your routine. Invite a supportive friend or fellow mom for a stroll in the park. The combination of fresh air, sun, physical activity, and meaningful conversation can do wonders for your mental well-being. Self-care involves addressing the root causes of stress, and sometimes, a heart-to-heart conversation during a walk is the perfect solution. I have never come back from a walk with a friend and regretted it, even in bad weather.
4. Shared Responsibilities:
Accepting help and sharing responsibilities can be a game-changer. Connect with other moms in similar situations and establish a support system where tasks are shared. Whether it's carpooling, meal planning, or taking turns for self-care, the mutual exchange of support lessens the burden on each individual. Real self-care acknowledges the strength found in shared responsibilities. I feel so good and valued when I get to help a friend out. You’re giving someone else the gift of being needed when you let them help you!
5. Book Club for the Soul:
Try to immerse yourself in a book club focused on mental health and well-being. Have you read a great book lately about parenting that helped you? I’m sure other moms would love to hear about it. Or, you could learn about a new book that might help you. Choose literature that resonates with your experiences as a mom supporting a teen with mental health challenges. Engaging in thoughtful discussions with other members can be both enlightening and comforting. Maybe you need a book that just makes you laugh. We ALL need laughter in our lives, especially when we’re feeling stressed. Feed your mind and soul with content that speaks to your unique journey at this stage in your life.
Remember, meaningful self-care is not about conforming to external ideals or mirroring someone else's routine. Just because some influencer or wellness guru, is talking about the latest must do morning routine to win at life or a self-care routine that works for them, does not mean it’s right for you. It's about understanding what genuinely benefits you in the daily stresses of supporting a struggling teen.
As you explore these alternatives, embrace the power of connection, accept help, and let each other know that you are already worthy of care and support just as you are. In the journey of motherhood, true self-care is a collective effort that goes beyond societal expectations and into the realm of authentic connection and support.
LAURIE MOSER
Laurie Moser is an advocate for moms’ mental health. Supporting moms who have teens with mental health challenges using self-care tools & group support. Laurie has been featured by Focus on the Family, Real Biz Moms, Tracking Happiness and a guest on 5 Minutes for Me App, Voice of Women (VOW) and I Never Knew (INK).
