Why Listening to Your Teenager Rocks!
Laurie Moser . Published July 3, 2023
Source: unsplash
My youngest just graduated from elementary school this June. Next year, it’s junior high, a whole new world for both of us! It hit me like a tidal wave the last day of walking her to the bus stop, that I’ve walked all my four kids to for 15 years, what a huge milestone we both hit. I no longer have any young kids in school and even though she’s still 11, she’s a teenager now. So, it took me until child number four, to truly understand how important listening is.
Teenagers, right? They're like a whirlwind of emotions and newfound independence. But guess what? One of the superpowers you can develop is the art of listening. Let's dive into why tuning in to your teenager is so crucial. By truly hearing them out, you’ll build trust, strengthen your bond, and support their emotional well-being in this wild journey called adolescence.
Validating Their Feels and Experiences:
Let's face it—teenagers can have a million feels in a minute and we can be on the receiving end of a lot of them. But by actively listening, we show them that we get it. We're like their personal cheerleaders, waving pom-poms for their emotions. When we genuinely listen, we're saying, "Hey, I hear you and your feelings matter." That kind of validation helps boost their confidence and outlook on life. So, let's be their emotional cheerleaders and create a space where they can vent, share, and feel understood.
Trust and Parent-Teen Bonding:
Sometimes, just being present in the moment and giving your teenager your full attention without talking or interrupting is the greatest gift you can give them. When you give your undivided attention, they'll trust you more and be able to open up and share what’s bothering them and going in their lives. It’s so important to keep the lines of communication open. By showing genuine interest in their lives, they see us as their confidantes. That trust strengthens our bond, making us the type of parent they turn to for advice and guidance.
Emotional Surfing and Well-being:
The teenage years are like riding an emotional wave—ups, downs, and all around. By listening, you become their emotional surf instructors. You help them ride those waves without wiping out. You are the safe place that they can always land on. Active listening gives them an outlet to vent, process their feelings, and gain insights into their own emotions. You create a safe harbour where they can find comfort, reduce stress, and feel less alone in this crazy emotional journey called adolescence.
Rockstars and Critical Thinkers:
Teenagers want to rock their independence and find their unique voice. By listening, you’re their backstage crew, cheering them on. When you value their thoughts and ideas, they feel empowered to think critically and express themselves. Active listening helps them develop skills to make informed decisions, build their identity, and become independent individuals.
Active Listening:
What exactly is active listening? Here are some quick tips for how to use active listening with your teen:
Give your full attention: Put away distractions like phones or devices and focus solely on your teenager when they are speaking to you.
Use nonverbal cues: Maintain eye contact, nod your head, and use facial expressions to show that you are actively listening and engaged in the conversation.
Reflect and paraphrase: Repeat back what your teenager has said in your own words to ensure understanding and let them know you are truly hearing them.
Ask open-ended questions: Encourage further conversation by asking questions that invite your teenager to share more about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Validate their emotions: Show empathy and understanding by acknowledging and accepting your teenager's emotions, even if you may not agree with their perspective. Let them know that their feelings are valid and important to you.
Listening to our teenagers is a skill that’s crucial for strengthing our bonds and gaining trust. It takes practice and time. You will mess up, forget to listen and just want to give advice or solve the problem for them and that’s okay. Listening is a skill that we all need to work on, not just with our teenagers. It’s so worthwhile for having quality relationships. By truly hearing them, we build trust, nurture their emotional well-being, and support their journey through adolescence. We become their emotional rockstars, confidantes, and their trusted guides. So, let's create a space where our teenagers feel heard, understood, and ready to experience this crazy ride called life!
