This Advice Sucked

Laurie Moser . Published April 19, 2024

A few months ago, I had a free consultation with an expensive business coach.

It started off really good and then we started talking about "why," I do what I do.

Here's the short version of my why:

It was a few years ago, I was sitting on my bed, feeling alone, scared, heartbroken and paralyzed in that moment about what to do next to help my daughter. I wanted someone to tell me what to do, to fix the problems. Just give me the answers and solutions to make everything better again. I wanted to feel that peace, calm and stability in our home again. I wanted to help my daughter, to connect and have a relationship with her again, she felt so distant from me at that time.

BUT, I couldn’t control or fix my daughter.

The only thing that I could control or fix was taking control of my own mental health and wellbeing. If I wanted to connect with my daughter again, I needed to become a mom that could be there for her. Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and burned out was NOT going to achieve this for me. That’s how my practice of self-care started. I started with daily journaling for 5 minutes a day. This made such a difference for my mental health and wellbeing.

My self-care practice evolved from daily journaling for 5 minutes, to movement, breathing exercises and meditation in the morning. All before the kids are up! It's the only time that works for me to get done what I need to.

I love teaching about the importance of a self-care practice and prioritizing your own mental health, especially when you have teens struggling with mental health challenges. A self-care practice equips me to deal with and handle the daily challenges and issues that come up in life so much better. I'm more calm, understanding and compassionate because of my self-care practice.

The other key part of a self-care practice is connection with others.

I believe in the power of group support for community and connection. Being part of the right community for YOU, provides a safe space to ask questions, share frustrations and find people who truly understand what you're going through and this can make ALL the difference.

The bad advice.

This business coach goes on to tell me that my "why," is too common. There are too many people talking about "self-care," and mental health. She went on to suggest a topic that I was not comfortable with and would have been an invasion of my daughter's privacy.

Lesson learned:

Because someone is a so called "expert," doesn't mean that their advice is right for you or at all. It's just their advice for what worked for them or someone else. We're all unique and have our own stories to share and learn from and help others with.

I'm sticking with my "why," and I hope that YOU resonate with my story.

What is your “why?”

LAURIE MOSER

Laurie Moser is an advocate for moms’ mental health. Supporting moms who have teens with mental health challenges using self-care tools & group support. Laurie has been featured by Focus on the Family, Real Biz Moms, Tracking Happiness and a guest on 5 Minutes for Me App, Voice of Women (VOW), I Never Knew (INK) and the Life Changing Habits Summit.