7 Effective Ways to Help Teens Cope with Disappointment and Stress: A Parent's Guide

Laurie Moser . Published November 6, 2023

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It’s hard to see our kids struggle, in pain and deal with disappointment. At the same time, it’s how our kids learn resilience and it’s an opportunity for us to teach them coping strategies to help them deal with stress and disappointment in life.

This is a great chance for us as parents to work on ourselves. How do you handle disappointment, stress and challenges in life? If you fall apart, yell, react and lose control of your emotions every time, what example are you setting for your teen? Having kids, especially as they grow into young adults as been one of the greatest lessons for me in personal growth and self awareness. If I’m asking my teen to work on something, I better be working on it also!

Here are 7 valuable strategies to help your teens handle disappointment and stress, fostering resilience and emotional well-being.

1. Encourage Open Dialogue:

Create an environment where your teens feel comfortable discussing their feelings openly. Encourage them to share their disappointments and worries without fear of judgment. Sometimes, a listening ear can make a world of difference, helping them feel heard and understood. Make you are “actively listening,” to them. This means no distractions, you’re paying attention to what they’re saying, mirroring their body language, not thinking of when you can talk next and listening with real empathy and compassion. When your teen feels heard, valued and understood by you, they’re much more likely to open up again and share.

2. Teach Healthy Coping Mechanisms:

Guide your teens towards healthy coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, journaling or engaging in hobbies they love, this can even include playing video games for awhile. Encouraging physical activities like jogging, yoga, dancing, weight lifting or walking outside, can also help reduce stress hormones, promoting a sense of relaxation and well-being.

3. Promote Self-Compassion:

Teach your teens the importance of self-compassion. Remind them that it's okay to make mistakes and experience setbacks. Encourage positive self-talk and self-acceptance. By being kinder to themselves, they can bounce back from disappointments with greater resilience. Do they hear you practicing self-compassion? Be aware of what you’re telling yourself, especially in front of your kids.

4. Develop Problem-Solving Skills:

Help your teens develop problem-solving skills to tackle challenges effectively. Encourage them to break down problems into smaller, manageable parts and brainstorm potential solutions. A tool such as the “Pomodoro Technique,” where you set a timer for 25 minutes of work, can be helpful for your teen. By empowering them to find their own solutions, you're nurturing their independence and self-confidence.

5. Set Realistic Expectations:

Assist your teens in setting realistic expectations for themselves. Discuss the difference between achievable goals and unrealistic aspirations. Unrealistic expectations often lead to disappointment and stress. By helping them set attainable goals, you're setting them up for success and reducing unnecessary pressure. Give them examples of what a realistic goal is for yourself.

6. Encourage Healthy Lifestyle Choices:

Ensure your teens are getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and engaging in regular physical activity. A balanced lifestyle significantly contributes to emotional well-being. Encourage them to avoid excessive caffeine, sugar, and screen time, which can exacerbate stress and anxiety. Do you eat family meals together. This might be one way that you can spend some quality time together and eat a healthy meal. You can start with 2 meals a week that you eat together as a family.

7. Seek Professional Help When Needed:

Lastly, be proactive about seeking professional help if you notice persistent signs of stress, anxiety, or depression in your teens. Therapists, counselors, or school psychologists are trained to provide the necessary support and guidance. Don't hesitate to reach out when your teens need expert assistance. If your teen is hesitant to get therapy, they might be more open to “coaching,” there are some amazing programs online for coaching teens in a group environment or 1:1.

By fostering open communication, working on yourself, teaching healthy coping mechanisms, promoting self-compassion, developing problem-solving skills, setting realistic expectations, encouraging a healthy lifestyle, and being proactive about seeking help, you can equip and empower your teens to handle disappointment and stress effectively.

Remember, your unwavering support, love and understanding are invaluable as they navigate the tumultuous times of adolescence.

You got through it and so can your teen!

LAURIE MOSER

Laurie Moser is an advocate for moms’ mental health. Supporting moms who have teens with mental health challenges using self-care tools & group support. Laurie has been featured by Focus on the Family, Real Biz Moms, Tracking Happiness and a guest on 5 Minutes for Me App, Voice of Women (VOW) and I Never Knew (INK).